


It’s Time to Go (Take Yourself Home)

by felixcentric



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Drinking, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-18
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:34:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25358545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felixcentric/pseuds/felixcentric
Summary: Felix is quiet for a while, and Hyunjin’s almost convinced he's asleep; however, when the song ends and transitions to another one in DJ scratches and remixed beats, he speaks again: "Have you ever wanted something so bad, but you know you can't have?"
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Felix
Comments: 2
Kudos: 57





	It’s Time to Go (Take Yourself Home)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hhwang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hhwang/gifts).



> happy birthday, kenzie ♡
> 
> (not beta read // [title](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LniYWYmNXiM))  
> 

_It’s okay_ , Hyunjin thinks. It’s 1am, and they have two more hours before they get the hell out of here. They’ve agreed it’s hardstop by 3am, and the plan is to regroup at the parking lot by Minho’s car. _It’s okay_ , he convinces himself even after he's seen piss-drunk Chan and Changbin embarrassingly firing up the dance floor. _It’s okay_ , Hyunjin tells himself even after seeing Seungmin at the bar, buying drinks for a guy who could pass as a high schooler while Minho is two tables away, cracking jokes to Jisung who seems half-passed out. _It’s okay_.

It’s not okay.

His friends are the most lightweight dumbfucks in this club, and it isn’t even fun in the slightest.

"Jinnie!” he feels a body launch itself on top of him, the couch dipping with the additional weight. Hyunjin adjusts a little to confirm that it’s Felix—he recognizes the unmistakable voice, but he still needs to make sure it isn’t some random stranger tackling him in this small booth. Felix reeks of alcohol and sweat, but he doesn't stop pushing himself against Hyunjin, bringing his lips closer to his ear. "You have to have fun!" he yells above the music.

"You’re so fucking drunk," Hyunjin groans and does his best to create some sort of distance, inching himself toward the wall because they're _too close_ —Felix’s nose is touching his cheek, and if he stops squirming he’s certain he’d feel his soft breathing. It’s obvious that the other doesn't mind, scooting even closer and wrapping both arms around Hyunjin even after being gently pushed away.

"It’s my—” Felix hiccups, “—my breakup party. I’m supposed to be drunk."

This was Jisung’s idea. Felix has been a mess since his bastard boyfriend broke it off a week ago. Hyunjin witnessed it all—the breaking down, the ugly crying, the skipping classes, the fake smiles and pretending to be okay. _Let’s go and have fun tonight_ , Jisung said. _Anything to help him take his mind off things_ , they all agreed.

Felix is quiet for a while, and Hyunjin’s almost convinced he's asleep; however, when the song ends and transitions to another one in DJ scratches and remixed beats, he speaks again: "Have you ever wanted something so bad, but you know you can't have?"

He meets Felix’s eyes. He almost looks sober.

That's one thing about Felix, Hyunjin thinks. He has the most beautiful, most expressive eyes, and Hyunjin's convinced that time works differently when you're looking at them. Under the flashing lights, they look like tiny galaxies. 

_Something I can't have?_ He snorts.

“Yeah,” he finally replies.

Felix hums thoughtfully before laying his head on his lap. "Really? Tell me about it."

_A heartbroken dance major who has his heart on his sleeve, giving it away to unworthy motherfuckers._

Hyunjin looks down at Felix, glassy curious eyes waiting for his response.

_You._

The lights continue flickering, and Hyunjin is maybe a little too fixated in the way Felix blinks slowly, long lashes carefully touching his freckled cheeks— _red, green, yellow—_

"A street sign. Or a traffic cone."

He feels Felix tilting his head. "Like VLC?"

"Like VLC."

Felix processes it for a minute. Two minutes. And then he smiles. "Let’s get out of here and steal a traffic cone."

Yeah, no, that's not what Hyunjin is going for. First of all, that's definitely illegal; second, their friends will be looking for them; and third, he doesn't really trust himself to be left alone with Felix, doesn't trust himself to _not want_.

His internal conflict probably shows on his face because Felix is now pouting slightly. "Lix, it's not that I don't want to, but we have to leave at—"

"Just shoot Minho-hyung a text, we all know no one’s _really_ hardstopping at 3am anyway," Felix is already standing unsteadily, and Hyunjin’s immediately there to keep him vertical. "You need to learn how to fight for what you want. We’re fighting for a fucking traffic cone tonight, Jinnie."

And off they go, loud giggles and intertwined fingers, running around the busy streets of Seoul like children discovering a playground for the first time. They splurge their money on a 24-hour arcade they found right beside a convenience store, jumping from machine to machine and feeling like they won the lottery despite sucking at all the games. It’s only the two of them, and they are unstoppable. Whenever Felix laughs at something silly, Hyunjin’s heart soars.

They end up parting ways just before the sun rises—Hyunjin with a mini traffic cone from the convenience store bike parking area that they’re goddamned proud of, and Felix with an ugly teddy bear half his height that’s probably worth a thousand tickets and too many games.

When they reach Felix’s front door, Hyunjin watches him let out a huge sigh, wistful, as if he’s exhaling all the happiness from tonight. 

“Hyunjin,” His focus is immediately on Felix's eyes. Unlike the strobing lights from the club or the faint neon from the arcade, something feels more honest when they're lit by the earliest hints of sunrise. The most beautiful, most expressive eyes, and Hyunjin can't do anything but watch as sadness settles in.

“How easy would it have been if I fell in love with you instead?”

One.

Two.

A thousand heartbeats. Hyunjin doesn't respond. What a stupid fucking question. In his head, Hyunjin says that aloud. In his head, he asks 'What's stopping you?.' In his head, he takes a step forward and whispers, 'Fall in love with me, then.' 

When Felix speaks again, there's a small attempt to smile. “Please don’t be in love with me.”

In his head, Felix doesn't say that.

That’s funny. This entire situation is funny. Hyunjin almost laughs. He grips on the traffic cone tighter, feeling its weight on his palm.

Traffic cones redirect people to safety. They remind us where to stop and where to go. Not here, this road is under construction. Go the other way. This isn't the right route.

_Have you ever wanted something so bad, but you know you can't have?_

Hyunjin knows that.

“Of course.”

**Author's Note:**

> [twitter](https://twitter.com/felixcentric)


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